August 25th 2009

Journal entry from.. August 25th 2009

Jon is back. He's back! He's back...



Itold him. I told him that I was going to be with you. His last text reads:
"Tears don't fall, they crash around me."
I hope he has found silence in his sorrow. That he can sleep and dream of better places.

I don't know where tonight will take us. He said he's call tomorrow. We have things to discuss, he said.

He's probably crying buckets.
Tears all for me. Tears for my loss. Have I died?
No, I'm living!

Andrew is my love, he's my heart, he's my future.
I want to see those hills again and that ocean. I ant him to hold me and kiss me like he never did.

I feel great loss and great sorrow, but with Jon, it's not a new feeling. And I am so tired of feeling it. So tired of never knowing.
I love him. He may well be my oldest and dearest friend, but I can't count on him to be what I want and what I need.

Love, Toma.