August 24th 2009

Journal entry from... August 24th 2009

I looked myself in the mirror. Speak to Jon, my voice cracked as I muttered the words...

"Why did you leave me?"

And while I imagine his responses, I swallow my sorrow.

Andrew and I have fallen in love again.
After Yvan described in great detail last night how he would have enjoyed bending me over that table in Starbucks and fucked my brains out.
I felt numb to it.

Jon left me and I fell in love with Andrew all over again. I've been wet half the day as ANdrew asks all kinds of questions about our future and how I would like him to finger me on the sofa and nibble my earlobes. so perfect. Everything we talk about like that is so perfect.

So, I hate how it wasn't like that at all in real life. Will it be next time?
Am I going to plan and wait and hold out for the next ten years for disappointment.
To be taken advantage of again?

No way of knowing.

i just know that Jon left.
And i fell in love with Andrew all over again.
<3