September 5th 2009

Journal entry from... September 5th 2009

Andrew's second to last message from last night reads:
"I guess I'm over trying to be with you.."

...

I don't know what to say. I feel like I broke him. Andrew and I still share an immense closeness and openness. It's a damn shae that it just didn't feel right. I wonder if we really could have changed and been perfect, everlasting. For me, it's too much. Waiting hurts. the cost of trying to visit eachother is so much and we're both going to be students.

He told me last night that I will always have a special place in his heart.

So sweet. It's the same for me. I love him. He's an amazing guy with really great things happening for him. I wish it would have gone differently.

But mybe I'm suppose to be with Jon.
We're a mess and is like being on a rollercoaster.
I wonder if it'll always be like this.
I can barely handle it right now. x.x
We aren't together even. I won't call him officially mine until Rachael is out of the picture.

Can't believe he's Fuckin' married. rrrrrrgghh.

Love, Toma